Bad Day

this blurp was initially written on September 14th, 2005 but I didn't want it to get lost in the shuffle so it's posted under today's date.
...

1: "Haven't you ever wondered about good and evil, heaven and hell, god and the devil?"

2: "Sure, religion is big around here, in case you hadn't noticed. We all wonder about those things, but let's face it, no one is really ever going to know-there aren't even any guarantees when you die that you'll know."

1: "Ah yes, religion- an unfortunate but necessary evil. Mortals are designed in such a way that without belief you'd be unsatisfied, without hope, lost, lonely and pointless."

2: "Where've you been? Those things still happen everyday to lots and lots of people with as much as without religion or any other belief to guide them and anyhow, why do you keep referring to the human race as though you are somehow better, cause you're lookin pretty human to me?"

1: "Sure, you're still plagued with these things, but imagine how much worse things would be without belief?"

2: "Okay, okay. Look, I happen to agree with you on that but it still doesn't answer my question."

1: "Have you read the Christian version of the story of creation?"

2: "Yeah, as a kid. Who in the English-Speaking, Catholic/Christian world hasn't?"

1: "And did you ever hear or read the story of Satan being thrown into hell to serve as its keeper for all of eternity."

2: "Sure, most of us in this country have heard it anyway, some mistakenly refer to him as Lucifer which is incorrect, basically he was an angel serving god and one day he got a raging hemorrhoid up his ass and decided that he'd take on the thrown...Boom! Down he goes to rule the cavernous and fiery pits of hell... Dante's Inferno. Catholics believe in this more strongly than Christians though they both have their own versions of both the story and the concept."

1: "Do you believe in these stories?"

2: "I'm not a religious person. At best I am agnostic. I believe something greater than humanity is out there, I just don't care to ponder what that is. Besides, I don't have the arrogance to believe that I have the mental, physical or emotional capacity to understand what GOD really is, what It wants or what IT's plans are...What are you, some kind of religious fanatic...Or perhaps lunatic might be a better word?"

1: "Me? No. I have no use for religion. The facts, which are unabashedly linked into this complex web of details, are too important to waste on the trivial aspects of mortal life."

2: "Ookay, look you seem relatively intelligent and ok but you're freaking me out. I've had a really long day and I need a shower and a shot or ten of tequila. Do you have a point to your bullshit here or are you just trying to get laid cause I hate to break it to ya sweetheart, you're cute but I'm not interested and my foot tells me that you wouldn't get very far otherwise!"

1: "In the beginning, at the time of creation the earth existed inside a realm of space. Your scientists have, over the years, traveled into the universe but can only make it so far. They do note however that the universe has been expanding."

2: "yeah, okay. And...?"

1: "Though it was not as barren as the Christians tell it, it wasn't fertile either. That took some work. This work wasn't entirely majestic. It took a great deal of time, thus your evolution theory. The genius of creation is that it only took the right adjustment towards the sun and some o2 in the atmosphere to begin the ascent. For the most part, it was just a matter of time. The sun began to warm the crag and together with the o2 began to chemically alter the entire rock."

"There were no preconceived ideas as to what would result from this, Human creation took the longest and came along fairly late in the game. It was interesting to witness the evolution of an organism no larger than an atom to the creatures you are now. Throughout this transformation there was no divine help contrary to mortal belief. Intervention was never meant to be part of the deal. Everything on this planet was left to its own devices, thus the many differences. Adaptation can only occur if things are left to fend for themselves."

"All organisms coexisted in relative peace, save for nature's food chain laws, adapting to the environment as it adapted to itself and it's inhabitants. Human beings 'grew up' quite literally until they were able to stand. Then they began to develop things like conscious thought, memories and ideas. This was an exciting thing to watch. As the intelligence level grew, changes in both your species and your surroundings occurred. I'll spare you the details of the Dinosaurs and the ice age and all that, your scientists make it all a lot more magical than the truth can anyhow. The point is life was given free-will by default, divine intervention was not the key to your beginnings, you simply became what you are through natural process."

2: "What does this have to do with me? Frankly, I don't care how or why things happen the way they do. All I know is I've had a really shitty fuckin day and I'm not all that interested in a trip to the holy land, I'm quite happy with the thought of being completely immoral or at the very least, without moral dilemma. If you would like to save me from my evil sinful ways it's not happenin tonight pal. I'm drinking myself to sleep alone in my apartment watching Breakfast at Tiffany's and Steel Magnolias while eating Ramen Noodles and smoking way too many cigarettes. There will be no deviation from this plan-so come back another day angel-fuck."

1: "Look, not to be rude sweetheart but in about ten minutes you're going to be awfully glad that you met me so how 'bout you save what you're about to say so you don't have to regret it later. Shall I continue or would you like to interupt some more? No? Are you sure? Very well. "

"As things began to progress we noticed that in death, souls became floating matter. The thought was, at some point, you would evolve entirely on your own. When this did not happen 'GOD' as you understand him asked his brother who would be the equivalent of your Satan--God of the 'underworld' for his help and advice. How ironic that the Roman's were the one's who stumbled upon that truth. So the two hitched the plan. The idea was flawless. The energy in the nucleus of your soul is your only perfect consciousness. It makes the decisions before your born that you should suffer certain things along the way in each lifetime. The whole program gives the souls a recycling capability. And each independant soul retains its knowledge and goes back down to learn something new."

1: "The proclaimed caverns of hell don't exist. That's your imaginations doing the talking. You simply step into a consciousness that is beyond your physical existence until you decide to learn something else then it's back you go. This seemed to be the best way to keep the situation from escalating. " Everything else that occurred naturally seemed to regenerate itself. Why not allow the residual nuclei that is your 'soul' to regenerate as well. "

2: "Thanks for the info...really, I'll sleep better now knowing all of this. I'm going home now."

1: "Wait."

"Look dude, I just stood here on this street corner listening to your crap when I could have been on my way home. I'm tired and I'm done. I'm not interested in story-hour any more."

1: "Remember when you were 16 years old and you saw your grandmother standing beside your grandfather's grave at her own funeral, Casey?"

2: "What the... okay... who in the hell are you? How do you know my name and how on earth do you know about that?"

1: "Your mom told you that it was grief. You didn't believe her but you wanted to so you didn't argue."

2: "I dunno who you are or how you know that but you need to get the hell away from me."

1: "I just told you that hell doesn't exist and I'm not going anywhere. Unfortunately neither can you."

2: "The fuck I can't."

1: "Casey, think for a moment. Your grandmother. Her favorite dress, her favorite hat, those hideously ugly shoes."

2: "Leave me alone."

1: "I can't do that."

2: "Why not?"

1: "Because, I need you now."

2: "who...are you?"